Love and Logic

We are taking a Love and Logic parenting class. It is similar to our style and philosophy, and it is so nice to have this support and some new, practical ideas. The school Kathryn -who has declared she will be Kate to school teachers and friends from here on out- will be attending in the fall uses this methodology, and I am glad we will be in sync. I won't go into too much detail, but it is about first establishing empathy, and holding kids accountable for their choices, which sometimes means letting natural consequences unfold. There is no yelling, punishing out of anger, etc... and the focus is on the long-term. The idea is for them to learn to self-regulate, to make decisions that are good for themselves because they know they are, not because they're nagged or threatened. The responsibility is on them. There's an advantage to learning this now instead of in 10 to 15 years, right? One example for next year- if Kathryn forgets to bring her homework to school, there will be no "rescuing" on our part. She will learn quickly. Of course when safety is on the line, we will always step in, but that is very rarely the case. So many issues parents stress over are really the kids' problems, not ours. It won't always be easy to let the girls own their problems, but we do believe it's important. It doesn't mean we won't be there for guidance; we will, but it does mean we won't take over.

One other thing I love about L&L- it really takes off the burden to realize that kids are so capable and do not need every logical consequence dissected and explained. They get it.  I could go on and on, but if you want to read more: http://www.loveandlogic.com/

Here's one new idea we tried with Kathryn:

Instead of enforcing the usual bedtime, we gave her the option of reading quietly until she decided to go to sleep, with the understanding we did not want to see or hear her, and that everyone would be getting up at 6:00 am.
Here's how it went down.
8:24 pm

She was really excited about the whole thing, and wanted to show the world what she was reading.

9:24 pm

"They're not really that funny, just interesting."

10:04 pm

Starting to fade...

10:24 pm

The idea is that it is much easier to wake her up than put her to bed, and she will learn to adjust her own bedtime based on how tired she is the next morning. Here's the thing-

6:00 am- no photo- (I was super-groggy and forgot) 

She was fine!!!

I think we'll do this throughout the summer... 

She will figure out her night schedule, I will just worry about the wake-up time. 

It is a beautiful thing.